When my girls were little, it seemed like every parent my age was dreading the day their children would become teenagers......"those horrid teen years". We all knew and heard stories of sweet children who the Dr. Jekyl/Mr. Hyde change upon hitting adolescence, turning into almost unrecognizable monsters. In my mind, adolescence was certain to be the end of family, peace and happiness as we knew it. I was dreading it more than most, since my children were very close in age.
I now have three teenage daughters in high school......all at the same time. That dreaded season in our lives of being the parent of teenagers is now upon us. To my amazement, these years have been fast paced and sometimes crazy, but I have to tell you that I would not change it for anything! My house is always full of teenagers who entertain us with their wonderful humor. They also break our hearts with their struggles. Friends stop over all the time, and descend on our pantry and refrigerator like they have never eaten before. I don't want to give you the impression that life is perfect, or that my teens do not present huge challenges to me and my husband. These years are keeping me on my knees as I watch my girls spread their wings. I can tell you with out a doubt that there is never a dull moment in the Blondin household.
Olivia is going to be graduating soon.....Abigail will then be a senior....and Leanna will be our budding sophomore. My girls are unique and different and not every strategy works for every child. But there are some things that I am learning along this road of raising three teenage daughters.
If you want your children to have a genuine faith in Jesus Christ, then model what it looks like for them on a daily basis. I am not talking about following a set of rules here. Teenagers will define our genuineness by the fruit we bear. My life should be marked with love, forgiveness, humility and grace. This alone keeps me on my toes because I am far from perfect and far from being a perfect Christian. We have been going through some tough times recently and have had to make some tough decisions. We did not hide this from our girls. They saw our struggles and our tears. I hope they can learn from how we have dealt with the struggles and saw that the Lord was in the process the whole time.
I want my teenagers to know that their home is safe and a refuge. I am not as faithful about this as I would like to be but I do try to make it a point to stop what I am doing and ask them day, activities, or time with friends. My husband is soo good to always go to each girls room and make personal contact with them every morning before he leaves for work. They know how much he loves them and that he is interested in letting them know that he wants them to have a good day. Its easy to nag at my teens....they are an easy target for this since they can be irresponsible, thoughtless and self centered. I want my girls to know that I like them and that I am happy they are there at home. I want them to know how much we love them and how much we love having them at home instead of out and about.
Pick my battles carefully. I know many teenagers who wear tattered and strange clothing and their parents are embarrassed and make it a huge issue in their home. And this is the age of piercings and tattoos. Is it a sin? Does the Bible have something specific to say about it? As my husband and I have had to address the issues of clothing, hair styles, piercings, makeup and more I have learned that I needed help with keeping my perspective on their way of thinking. Prayer.....pray, pray, pray....and ask yourself
'Is it a sin?" I know that outward appearances are going to change with the times, and I realized that I needed to be more interested with what would last for eternity: salvation and their commitment to Christ. I am learning to major on the major issues and let the minor ones die.
I don't know about your teenagers, but mine do not talk when they are not in the mood. One of my daughters actually responds with one word answers all the time and it can at times drive me crazy. As my girls have gotten older, I have realized that their lives have become the focus of my household. I have dropped many of my own activities and spent a lot of time just hanging around the house because the girls were home. When they finally want to talk, I am there to listen......and sometimes, all they want is for you to listen and not necessarily give advice. Once again, pray, pray, pray! Ask God it give you answers and the right words to say to your child as they are telling you what is on their own heart.
Staying involved and being a cheerleader of my teenager is a huge part of my life right now. I offer to help when I can....and sometimes I'm not always able to volunteer, but I still want my child to know that I am interested in what they are doing. Being involved in their lives gives us the opportunity to have contact with the people who are a part of my girls lives. This will also give you a chance to get to know other parents as well. Just being involved with Olivia's band activities, we have met many parents and gotten to know many of her friends. Whether they admit it or not, they want to see you at their performances. They may verbally discourage you from coming to watch their events, yet in their hearts, they still value your support and appreciation for their abilities. Whether it is a part in a play, a band concert, a color guard performance, a cheer leading competition I want to make sure I am there and seated where they can see me. I have not regretted attending a single event that one of my girls has been in.
Though my girls are outwardly becoming more independent, they still need my interest, involvement, love and Godly guidance. Dealing with three adolescents has had its rough moments. We have had many days when it was hard to see the sun shine in our house. But, I always want them to have the opportunity to know they can come home to parents who not only love them, but like them too. Soo,......to Olivia, Abby and Leanna.....what amazing gifts from God you have been and continue to be. You challenge me each day to stay on my knees and to be a Godly example. I love being a part of your life and I love that God chose me to be your mom!